The End of the Book

I found Anita Blake not too long ago and fell in love with her world. I can't put the books down... however, whenever I get near the end of the book or finish it, I get sad and mourn the end of each book like if I had lost a piece of my own world.

So I went to my yoga class, (yes vampires do yoga too) and meditated on it. After a great guided meditation, I got in the car still puzzle and angry and sad about finishing the book. It only happens when I read Anita's books. So I put some rock and speed up back to the island after class still thinking why.

When I got home I rushed to order the next book. I figured that would help me get over it. I kept telling myself: "there are more books left to read and Laurell still writing more!"
But it didn't help me... so I stayed on the computer looking for other books and promised myself this is the last one cause it makes me too emotional.

The next book came and I read it. And the sadness started. Then I read Laurell's blog about what happens to her after she finishes writing the book. It helped me understand my "grieving" process after I'm done reading her books.

I identify with the monsters, I know because for many years I felt like a monster. I always thought that the "bad" things in my life must have been because I deserve them and was my karma from doing horrible things possibly in a past life. I carried that with me for many years.

Until the Blue Moon in 2007 when I saw a spiritual counselor that helped me deal with this. She explained that I was given this oppurtunity to explore other aspects of my life that I may not have done in previous ones. What happened to me is not a gift or a blessing, I would not give this to anyone. But it had made me the person I am today and not a monster.